Tourist!
by ScarperTheTheif9
Summary: In which young Shikamaru is enlightned on exactly how things run in the Sand Village. Quite painfully. And humiliatingly. Rated T for swearing and breif mentions of prostitution.


**A/N: Hey, guys. Scarper, here. I'm not sure about all of you, but who else wonders about how they do things in my personal favorite of the hidden villages, Suna? I felt like Misashi (Brillliant as he is) didn't exactly enlighten us on how things roll in the land of the Wind. So, I've decided to take things into my own hands. Be very afraid, ladies and gents. I've tried to stay as true to the books as I can, but I've taken liberties on other things. A couple of the customs I've found are practiced in real-life countries around the globe. There'll be a * by each one, and I'll give you the sources below. This takes place post-Konoha Invasion, and has an alternate timeline in which the Kazekege never died. Be sure to review and let me know how I can improve! Thanks and ENJOY THE SHOW! :D**

As wary as Shikamaru was, he was also filled with anticipation as he made his trek across the dessert. He had not visited the Village Hidden by Sand until now, and had no idea what it would be like. The only other person he knew who had been to the elusive and distrustful place had been his father, Shikaku. When Shikamaru asked about it, his father had simply laughed and deemed the village "interesting." That could be either good or bad, but judging by the Sand Shinobi he had come across- 90% of which scared the daylights out of him- he was leaning twords bad at this point.

_Well, the climate is certainly different, _he thought as the wind blew yet another gust of sand at him. The place was as hot as a furnace, and that was hardly exaggerating in Shikamaru's opinion. He rememberd vaugly something Temari had said about the Village being a sweltering 90 degrees practicly year-round, and cursed himself on not bringing enough water with him. The three day straight journey had consumed most of his supplies, and only a few drops of water remained in his flask. He tried to drink it sparingly, as there was still a few miles to go, but thirst burned at his throat constantly. The difference of this weather and the mild, neutral tempature of Konohagagure was beyond comprehension. He found himself already missing Konoha, and he hadn't even arrived yet.

As it was a simple matter of a diplomatic mission, Shikamaru had neglected to bring backup, and was already regretting that discision. _If I pass out, my body'll probably end up getting buried by all the sand around here. Even if they look, they probably won't find my remains. _Shikamaru thought morbidly. He then shook his head. He was being irrational. The heat was probably getting to him. He needed to keep a cool head, which would have been easier if it wasn't spinning as much. He must be dehydrated. Shikamaru fumbled with the cloak he was wearing to protect him fron the heat and purged the last bit of water from his bottle. He was now completly out, which meant that he had better arrive quickly.

He had just started to pick up the pace-a hard thing to accomplish when you were practicly wading through sand- when he, at long last, caught sight of the gate. It was still about fifty yards ahead of him, but seeing it sent a new burst of vigour through him, giving him the strength to coninue. He had almost made it! Just a few more paces and he could find some shade. Mabye not from a tree. but from a building at least. Then, he could find some water. Just the thought of the sparkiling, cool liquid on his tounge sent his mind spinning. He was about to keel over when he reached the blasted gate.

Of course, Temari was there. What troublesome day _wouldn't _ be complete without her of all people there to rag about how unprepared he was? Here he was, about to pass out from exaustion, and she just stood there, smirking infuriatingly! Shikamaru gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Laugh at me later, can I have some water first?" he asked in his impassive manner. A couple civvilians, with dark tans and loose, cloth clothing, laughed at his question.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Idiot. I suppose you ran out? And why on earth are you going and asking for water like a totlal dumbass? I wouldn't mention that liquid so loud." She added.

Shikamaru was a bit confused. "And why not?" he demanded. What was wrong with asking for some freaking water? He had just crossed some fifty miles of dessert expanse, for God's sake! He was entitled to some water!

Temari just smirked again. "Well, Nara, what do you know about Suna's government? Hopefully, you weren't asleep for that bit."

Shikamaru frowned slightly at this jab to his intellegence. "It's aristrocratic. A couple blokes that form that Jonin Council of yours dicide everything, and from what I hear, your locals aren't too happy about it." He looked about the village while he spoke. Even the structure in the place was a sharp contrast to Konoha. The village had decided to use the dessert around them, apperantly. Most of the houses were crafted out of mud and clay, forming adobe-like buildings. A bunch of shops were open, and from what he could see of the peoples faces-most of them were covered by cloth scarves-their expressions were gaurded and mistrustful. Quite a few glances were shot his way, and Shikamaru doubted they thought too highly about a recent enemy visiting their village.

Temari nodded. "Congratulations. You just passed kindergaren. Anyhow, if we live in a dessert, and our people aren't too happy with the current government, that right there is a perfect recipie for high crime rates. And what are most of those crimes gonna involve?"

"Water." Shikamaru said, comprehnsion dawning on him.

"Give the kid a prize." Temari said sarcasticly. "You have a lot to learn, Nara." she said, lauging a bit as the two of them entered the foreboding and paranoid village.


End file.
